Friday, February 6, 2009

Sound of Silence

I don't really have a title watsoeva but this is basically wat i went thru d last 2 weeks o so...d 1st is me, d 2nd part is when God came into d picture...



Engulfed by total silence I didn't know what to say…


Jotting my thoughts down on paper was totally outta the question…


As though it's gonna help translate what's exactly been piling up in the core of my dented heart...


If it could be a color, pitch black would have well painted my disturbed mind…


Saving precious words for deep conversations seemed to be a valid excuse for the prolonged silence...


The silence I befriended and grew fond of…


Who would have thought the lowest decibel could be far greater in volume than the sound of a roaring thunder?


Unexpected occurrence…you left me baffled…



Silence…



Uninvited yet persistently it came, breaking the silence…


As though written in the air I heard every word whispered…


Tearing the separating veil this gentle voice reached for my reshaped heart…


A tone so calm coated in shades of the bluest deep ocean…


Words of comfort and hope it bestowed upon me without restraint…


None of which came cheap but I got 'em for free…


So real were they silence was kept at bay, waiting to just fade away…


Who would have thought silence could effortlessly be erased simply by letting the voice speak?


Predictably unusual…I'm mystified…


You broke the ice…



Cuz1am

Thursday, February 5, 2009

God's Ang Pau


The sight of my apartment in KL…

The noisy cars that pass by everyday…

The view of a warehouse, FROM a warehouse…

( I’ll keep this short since my previous one was amazingly long)


Being back from holidays is always a bummer for most people, I’m one of them and most probably you are too. I made a conclusion that the one that needs a holiday the most are the ones that just had them(insert laughter here). Ah…I remember the feeling when I first touched down to KL last year to join 1a.m., oddly I felt the same when I arrived last night from KK. Oh well, I guess the only thing in life that God wants us to move in is forward.


If you didn’t know I went back to KK for the holiday season and I THANK GOD that I went back, so refreshing and really got me into the holiday mood. As usual for CNY I went back with my family to Sandakan and did 2 things: Eat, and collect Ang Paus. Ok you have to understand this, my grandfather married THREE TIMES…he must be very good looking…and as a result I have an array of aunties and uncles…some I never met before, and the good thing about that is…MORE ANG PAU. (Insert evil laughter here). So really it’s a blessing in disguise, although all of them thought of me as a girl cos of my hair. It was a really good chance for me to spend time with my family specially my brother and dad…since…us as guys don’t spend much time together. I really felt burden specially for my dad, cos since young I was never attached to him (I’m a mommy’s boy), so I took EXTRA effort to really spend time with my dad. Which I did, and really I thank God I did, cos now I feel we’re more bonded together and now we talk more. Of course it was awkward and needs getting used to but it’s a journey I guess.


Well, to share one thing with you guys one thing that God spoke to me this week in my devotion (we call it vedotion sometimes) he made me look at my ang paus…the wonderful time I had with my family…how awesome KK is…all those things…they are of extreme value to me, but will someday be gone. But in my devotion it says:


Lasting treasures lie in the riches of love, joy, peace,

goodness, grace and mercy that God lavishes on his children EVERYDAY”.


Isn’t that awesome…EVERYDAY!!


Which means everyday is Chinese New Year to us cos he gives us “Ang Paus” that are filled with love, joy, grace, mercy, peace and everything that is for our spiritual, physical and emotional growth and benefit!!


God really open my eyes to see that earthly things though of VALUE to me…is of extreme small value compared to God’s grace and love. I took the time to thank God in every capacity that I can think of...being able to receive ang paus, spend time with my family, serving Him full time, BEING ALIVE, and ALL the awesome “ang paus” that he LAVISHES us daily. He deserves all the glory and honour and thanks in my life.


Ready to receive a daily dose of God’s Ang Pau?