God's Kitchen

It is way past midnight (oh yes, my BEDTIME too!) and I’m still wide awake. The reddish grey cloud outside is already hinting that rain is inevitable while the accompanying cool breeze is saying amen to that! Lovely…

I can’t help myself from munching the hot potato PIK-NIK “Shoestrings” while writing this…it is so addictive I’m beginning to think that if I don’t stop now I’ll continue eating it like an Eat-To-Sleep Chewing Machine! Oh don’t worry, I don’t do that all the time…and my current weight is still bearable…so it’s okay…

By the way, there’s a SMALL bowl of Cruzer’s Daybreak Salad waiting for me in the kitchen!

Hmmm…anyway, I’m just thinking…

If again tomorrow night I can’t sleep, despite the perfect weather, will I drug myself with more junk food or will I turn to the solid spiritual food? Shhh…I know…

Yes; lately, I’ve been so challenged and healthily bugged by the word of God written in Joshua 1:8. It says…

“Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful”. (NIV)

You see…too many of us, me included, I’m pretty sure we’ve came across this scripture too many times we overlooked the lamb-chop-like juice of truth it contains. Often time I realize I’d focus more on the “God’s Promise” part of the scripture neglecting the “My Action” part. It is as though I was too hungry I couldn’t wait for my lamb chop to cook I ate it raw – far off from His plan for me to enjoy the meat well done.

The thing about me (and probably you too) is that I don’t really love waiting and I want what I want right here right now. That’s how I am sometimes. I wanna be prosperous and I wanna be successful and I want them both fast, minus having to go through any hurdles. It is like I’m demanding for the profit but totally choose to forget about the investments! It doesn’t work that way, right?

But God being the fair Boss, His strategy is different – always! Not that He loves to withhold His promises, but in my own opinion, He is just not a fan of having to fork out salary advances to any of His servants. Unless faith actions are constantly and sincerely shown, He can choose to delay in delivering the desires of my heart…and He will not surprisingly do just that!

The whole experience of being enlightened by this simple verse has really caused me to dig in whatever I read so much deeper with the quest to find a fresh revelation and the whole package that comes with it. Like those who serves in the oil and gas industry, they dig deeper not with the goal to find out more about dinosaurs or fossils they knew ever existed; their prize – the oil and gas itself! Likewise, my attitude is not to just read whatever that is visible but beyond.

That’s just one of the things I learned…would love to share more juice with you again next time…perhaps in one of my other sleepless nights. Til then, enjoy what I’m leaving behind for you…

Cruzer’s Daybreak Salad Recipe:

Chicken Sausages with Cheese and Chili – raw, sliced to your hotness;

Onions, sliced thin enough to remind you of the unnecessary fat you might gain;

Tomato, sliced to the number of hours you have left in bed;

Carrots, sliced enough to shut your Parrot mouth;

Coral Leaves/Lettuces, generously green enough to remind you Jude is a vegetarian;

Sprinkles of coarse Black Pepper, as desired as you would tiny sweet moles on your face;

French Dressing, poured to perfection to romance your taste bud.

*would be nicer with Parmesan Cheese & Croutons!

Best paired with: Iced Lemon Tea chilled at -2°c.

Total Preparation Time: 7 minutes

Accompanying Soundtracks:

Nightminds by Missy Higgins

Water Feels Warm by Electralow

Hide Me by Grandad Bob

Change Your World Tour - Teaser

Guys! GO TO YOUTUBE AND COPY THE URL OR EMBEDDED THIS VIDEO TO PLAY ON YOUR BLOG, WEBSITE OR MYSPACE.

SPREAD IT OUT AND TOGETHER LETS BRING CHANGE!!!!

God's Ang Pau

The sight of my apartment in KL…

The noisy cars that pass by everyday…

The view of a warehouse, FROM a warehouse…

( I’ll keep this short since my previous one was amazingly long)

Being back from holidays is always a bummer for most people, I’m one of them and most probably you are too. I made a conclusion that the one that needs a holiday the most are the ones that just had them(insert laughter here). Ah…I remember the feeling when I first touched down to KL last year to join 1a.m., oddly I felt the same when I arrived last night from KK. Oh well, I guess the only thing in life that God wants us to move in is forward.

If you didn’t know I went back to KK for the holiday season and I THANK GOD that I went back, so refreshing and really got me into the holiday mood. As usual for CNY I went back with my family to Sandakan and did 2 things: Eat, and collect Ang Paus. Ok you have to understand this, my grandfather married THREE TIMES…he must be very good looking…and as a result I have an array of aunties and uncles…some I never met before, and the good thing about that is…MORE ANG PAU. (Insert evil laughter here). So really it’s a blessing in disguise, although all of them thought of me as a girl cos of my hair. It was a really good chance for me to spend time with my family specially my brother and dad…since…us as guys don’t spend much time together. I really felt burden specially for my dad, cos since young I was never attached to him (I’m a mommy’s boy), so I took EXTRA effort to really spend time with my dad. Which I did, and really I thank God I did, cos now I feel we’re more bonded together and now we talk more. Of course it was awkward and needs getting used to but it’s a journey I guess.

Well, to share one thing with you guys one thing that God spoke to me this week in my devotion (we call it vedotion sometimes) he made me look at my ang paus…the wonderful time I had with my family…how awesome KK is…all those things…they are of extreme value to me, but will someday be gone. But in my devotion it says:

“Lasting treasures lie in the riches of love, joy, peace,

goodness, grace and mercy that God lavishes on his children EVERYDAY”.

Isn’t that awesome…EVERYDAY!!

Which means everyday is Chinese New Year to us cos he gives us “Ang Paus” that are filled with love, joy, grace, mercy, peace and everything that is for our spiritual, physical and emotional growth and benefit!!

God really open my eyes to see that earthly things though of VALUE to me…is of extreme small value compared to God’s grace and love. I took the time to thank God in every capacity that I can think of...being able to receive ang paus, spend time with my family, serving Him full time, BEING ALIVE, and ALL the awesome “ang paus” that he LAVISHES us daily. He deserves all the glory and honour and thanks in my life.

Ready to receive a daily dose of God’s Ang Pau?

RISE of the LEADER

So it was a Friday afternoon, I had an Intro to Business class and my word, did I enjoy this class.

A little side note here.... when I was in high school I purposely chose the science stream coz I hated Business. Who would have known that I'll be learning a bit on Business in college again...wahhhhhhhhhhhhh ... definitely not me.

I kinda felt like Jonah where you like try to run away from what your suppose to do or face only to find yourself submit to whatever you are running from =)

Anyway, You got to love God coz for whatever reason you think ain't worth knowing is worth knowing In God's Eyes!

In other words, just move with the flow knowing that God is in Control!!!

We had this game which the teacher kinda like asked us to play in a room with 5 students (The rest must be running away... hehehe). It was a "Survival simulation game".

Now I don't know if it’s true but it’s the same game that companies use when hiring managers. In short the scenario is that you along with your people where in a plane, crashed landed somewhere up north of Canada (How north can you get?!?! =p), its cold, 25 below zero during day time, 40 below zero at night, the nearest town 20 miles away. So you and your surviving buddies manage to salvage a couple of things in the plane....

WHAT DO YOU DO?

The list are (not in order)

A ball of steel wool

A small axe

A loaded .45 Caliber pistol

Can of Crisco Shortening

News papers (One per person)

Cigarette lighter (Without Fluid)

Extra T-shirt and pants for each survivor

20x20 ft. piece of heavy duty canvas

A sectional air map made of plastic

One quart of 100-proof whiskey

A compass

Family-size chocolate (One per-person)

Try doing this and see whether you are manger material =) (Comment or email me personally if you want to know the answer to this)

Anyway, I did mine... And guess what?!?!?!?!

I'll be the first one to die in the COLD!!!! Oh man, that just dropped the nuclear bomb in me and I can hear God say "..... ... ..... . . . . ..."

In other words, sometimes (or most of the times) I get the best of me (overconfident side) to act upon my life rather than listening to Him first and consider the thoughts of others.

When I thought about it, ask me whether my fellow "plane crashers" where part of my survival plan, I'm ashamed to say "NO".

Wow that was an eye opener, heart opener, can opener (however you want to call it) for me. I can see my "humble status" rising as it left a scar in my heart and mind as it’s gonna be one of those memories that you'll never forget. I can be very selfish.

But you know what.... Praise God! He reminded me that He is the perfector of our Faith!

Don’t ever think “that because things are going great for you everything is ok”. We need Jesus all the more.

I'm still amazed with this scene in my life. I still have a lot to learn. I thank God that He's never given up on me despite how many times I feel like giving up.

“A thousand times I failed still your mercy remains,

should I stumble again, I'm caught by your Grace" (plays at the back of my mind when writing this =) )

So I "died" in managerial skills but that’s all part in Leadership training so I guess I'm in the right class in life.

To be a leader is to go through failures not because you’re destined to fail but destined to learn so that you can be a better leader not for yourself, but for God and others.

Rise up!

Neil1am

P.S HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!

2009?

I can't believe 2008 is gone. Neither am I aware that today is actually the 15th day of 2009! To be honest, I don't even think my new year have begun...I'm still in my holiday mood!

At this point of writing, my dry throat feels like it's gonna tear really soon. It hurts so bad I wanna shove a bucket of ice cream right now...but I can only dream on as it is fasting season now for us here in our church.

I am also feeling a bit tired after making a short but exciting trip to Singapore & Indonesia last weekend together with my drumming family from Drummer For Christ. It was indeed a fun trip for me as I had the opportunity to drum together with this crazy bunch of guys who happens to be the world's finest drummers:

Arthur Kam (winner of Modern Drummer Undiscovered Talent under-18 category for 2008);

Rolf Wam Fjell (Hillsong Australia's very own drumming monster);

Lim Kok Yen (Malaysia's famous drum guru);

Vince Seah (Founder of Drummer For Christ Malaysia);

Derrick Siow (Malaysia's very own Aaron Spears);

Josh Wong (probably one of the good Jazz drummers/bassists in Malaysia).

Travelling with these guys has not only benefitted me in terms of my skills and everything else that has got to do with it but God also have given me the confidence to release words to some of the members of the team…something which I'd reluctantly do not too long ago. Though simple or nothing to brag about, the fact that I was able to confidently speak into their lives has boosted me to avail myself to be a voice that God would use to encourage others even more.

Back track a little bit…Christmas Production – The Heavenly Gift…I truly had fun playing Val, a nerdy angel with a thousand and one and a half questions! It never crossed my mind that I could play that role but I surprised myself & the show went well…

Next week we'll be hitting the studio again to record 1am's 5^th (my 2^nd) album which should be out, if everything goes as planned, in May or June. It's gonna be a great album. Hmmm…but we pray that it'll be more than just a great record…we want it to be a conduit of the defining moment in the lives of its listeners!

My throat is really uncooperative now…please join me in prayers for its complete healing. It's a bit annoying now I feel I better stop writing here. Will give you guys a buzz again real soon. My head's spinning too! Be blessed…

Cuz1am

F(e)asting to CHANGE!!!

Happy New Year to all those that are a bit slow on the dates. Like me, my new year was postponed due to a fever that I got from my younger brother. A day before New Year! It’s sad but I loss a lot of weight, so that’s something to be happy about.

Year 2009 started with a 7-day prayer and fasting, we do this every year but I decided to do something different, I’m going for the Daniel fast, not because my name is Daniel, but because Pastor Timothy the senior pastor of our church made an awesome statement that got me thinking (and also because I rarely eat vegetable. LOL). Seriously.

He said (I quote, not the exact words) Jesus fasted 40 days because that was what needed for His ministry, and Daniel (the dude in the bible) fasted for 21 days because he wants to change that nation. So my question to myself was this,

1. What am I fasting for and in what capacity of fasting does it require?
2. What is the amount of magnitude do I want to see change in me and around me?
3. Am I going to do it? yeEEEAAAAaaaRR~~~~

Take Zack Hunter for an example, he is a 15 year old dude that take the extra mile so abolish modern day slavery. Just like Bono, helping people in Africa. Why do these people go the extra mile to help others? Why don’t they just live in their own comfort? That you ask yourself and find out whether you want to be a world changer or a person just going to pass by without a legacy to pass on (rock and roll hand motion). This reminds me of john Meyer’s song Vultures.

Anyway, back on track, by fasting we die to our body and what seems comfortable for us. I’m not going to say that fasting is easy for me; in fact it is the hardest thing to do for me. I love to eat, hence the body size. I like to play computer games, sleep and yeah… you get the picture. But if I want to see change, a sacrifice of the flesh is sufficient to bring me to another level of my life.

I believe that everyone is meant to live so much more (switchfoot?) than what we are living for. We cannot do great things if comfort is what we desire and not change.

We as a team in 1AM is looking forward to our tour this year, and we pray that we can change your world.

Cheers. Dan1am

Grace Amazing

This week for the awesome Jude...

Or they call awesome hotness...

Or just hotness...

Or just awesome...

A new year has dawned...a new start to do things differently...

Newer challenges...newer things to learn...ANOTHER CHANCE to make my year glorify God...

Gosh so excited for this year. Relent recording is gonna resume again after a short hiatus. We just practiced and finalized arrangements for our songs...

Not to boast...but our songs are just so awesome...ok that’s boasting but it’s a God given song...so it’s for His glory...

What song doesn't need bells?! WE NEED THEM BELLS!!

Not to mention the tour we're gonna launch into this year...so much God has in store for us its just exciting..

If you dunno what I’m talking about then STAY TUNED!!

It’s the 1st week (2nd technically) but God has already started to reveal so much to me thru my time with him (sometimes I call it a date...lol)...

I remember on a particular Monday (actually that’s just a few days away) I was doing my devotions and the devo book mentioned something about God's grace...

Long story short, this guy was floating in the sea stranded...and almost got killed by sharks...but God's grace was upon him and he survived.

Many a times my surroundings fail my eyes...my existence blurs my heart...my work dulls my senses... and I, in turn fail to see that it was God's grace that made me Jude today...

Are my achievements fueled by my aptitude?

Are my moments of peace fed by my solitary shell?

Is my disposition shaped by my own understanding?

Neither...

WHERE I AM TODAY IS ENTIRELY BY GOD'S GRACE.

I have failed in many areas, yet God's grace pushes me to move.

I have stumbled many a times, yet God's grace picks me up.

I have shut my ears and ignore, yet God's grace spoke through my heart.

I remember during a concert 1a.m. was playing and I COMPLETELY MESSED UP MY GUITAR SOLO... (macam telinga mau koyak bah) no guitar sounded as cheap/weird/tormenting/hancur/all-in-all-really-bad as my guitar that moment... (which I quickly reacted by lowering my volume slightly to avoid further destruction of ears) but the spirit of God moved in the concert, and many people were touched. It wasn't my playing that moved the people (it moved them one step back though...lol)...but God's spirit...

I remember PC saying this so clearly...until now it has been a benchmark in what I do in ministry:

"WHAT WE DO IS NOT A MEASURE OF RELIGIOUSITY,

BUT A MEASURE OF GOD'S GRACE... "

I may be in the worst moments of my life,

be the worst guitarist of all,

be the worst person to have to cut your hair...

but God's grace makes the worst obsolete.

I thank God for his grace that carried me through...and I encourage you guys to give thanks to God for his never ending grace...

If not you even might not have a chance to read this...

God is awesome...

Jude1am

2008 ..... The year that passed - Neil

The year that passed ….

2008 I believe was a year where the Lord has been doing a lot of maintenance in my life. Honestly I feel I haven’t done much but if I am going to base my year on the things I do physically (no wonder I’m growing in size) then I’ve missed the point on what God has been doing internally.

Unlike 2007, we didn’t travel much but like I said, MAINTENACE!

It has been challenging as a musician, a leader and a discipler but I believe it’s for the good for the year 2009.

Musicianship – I believe there has been growth in 3 areas. First is my songwriting/arrangement abilities. I remember praying to God about really bringing me to the next level in terms of my writing. I struggled as I worked my way through in writing not just worship songs but mainstream song where at the end of the day I wrote more than I expected this year. I’ve been also listening to a lot of today’s music, just to know what’s in and out. With that, I’ve been open to a bit of Jazz and classical music which so broaden my creativity. There has been so much soul searching adding depth to what I write so yeah….Praise God!

2^nd and 3^rd, my vocals … hmmm… became better, rockier according to Daniel and my guitar skills… well I bought an Electric Guitar (GRECO 79’) so that should answer my abilities. I still play rhythm though.

Leadership – Wow…. I had to step up a lot in situations I felt needed the most. You have to understand that I’ve always labeled myself as the “Laid Back Leader”, just chillin’. I’ve been reading a leadership book where what struck me was that “A leader is one that steps into the uncertain. You as a leader can afford to be uncertain but cannot afford to be unclear in terms of moving forward.”

Personally, I feel I’ve used my brain so much this year in terms of thoughts, thinking of a clear direction. I may not know the outcome but so far there has always been a direction with a positive outcome. And even if it didn’t turn out right, it gave room to grow and learn. This goes out in all the areas I lead may it be as an assistant to Kelvin in terms of our 1a.m. ministry at church, the main band whenever Kel and PC is not around on tour, the youth band(Relent), Creative life, Discipleship etc.

Discipleship – Well I didn’t reach my faith goal in this area but I’m happy that the people I follow up grew the next level whether it’s their walk with God or serving. I had an additional friend added up in the group and he’s been doing great so far!

To see them serve in more than their natural ability is a blessing. I am determine to raise leaders who does not serve where they find comfort but push them to areas where I believe will help them grow and even so determine to raise people who loves God, fueling their passion to serve.

Relationship with the opposite sex – FAILED! Hahaha. Let’s see what 2009 has in-stored! I guess I’m still searching. I saw one but I maybe looking at the wrong one. I don’t know. Well whoever it may be, I hope she’s looking out as well. Bottom line is, what I feel, should be from God.

Enough said.

Overall God has been great in my life. He filled every void that needs to be filled with love and poured so much grace even when I don’t deserve them.

What do I mean by that?

Well being foreigner and living in Malaysia away from my family (miss you guys. Dad take-care of yourself, praying for you! I’ll see you guys soon) and friends I grew up with can be tough. It’s not like I can pay a few hundreds to go back home, I would need a few thousands for the flight and that’s a lot so I really thank God for being there always and giving me friends here to grow with.

Grace? How truly sweet the sound of grace is! I am not perfect as a worker at the office, a minister in or out of church, a friend. I mean I didn’t graduate as a business man, a good communicator, a super talented guitarist. At times I really feel inadequate with what I do. To be honest there are times I feel I am not the smartest, on top of that I have my challenges. But again, Praise God for it is Him who sustains me, in my weakness He strengthens me and pours out that sufficient grace, that amazing grace I so need everyday in my life.

Serving God, serving the church, serving the people has been a pleasure. I find no regrets.

I’m excited for next year. Everything that took place personally in my life was so that I can step into a bigger picture that God painted for 2009. I know its going to be bigger, better and greater. All for His glory and I know that YOU all are in it!

RELENT is coming soon. Don’t know what I’m talking about?… stay tune!

2008 so far - Daniel

This year have been a wonderful, purposeful and also a bittersweet one. The team has grown older, wiser and fatter, that’s why Neil and me are working out almost everyday now.

Earlier this year, one of our band mates, Mr. TJ Tan, who played the electric guitar left to Australia to further his studies.Just when he left God sent Jude Limus, a talented brother that can play various instruments. God is amazing.

This year we were busy with a lot of recordings, especially planning for next years album. This year we recorded two albums and that is Secret Place, which is our Chinese album and Adoration, which is the instrumental album.

I personally spent a lot of nights just recording and editing, fixing and more recording and editing. We recorded a lot, arranging guitar parts and thinking of ways to make our sound sweeter, bigger and more AWESOME. But one thing that I learnt throughout this tough, muddy, dirty, grueling process was I cannot make the sound in the recording bigger or sweeter or awesome if I depend on my own strength. Philippians 4:13 say I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me. I realized there was a time when I was exhausted and I felt like I cannot go on with the recordings, it was because I depended on my own strength and I did not rely on God.

It is the same with anyone out there; you need to draw strength from God daily. But how do you do that? By just coming to God daily before you start your day in prayer and reading His word. I have to admit there are times I struggle to read His word everyday (I know you guys struggle too) but I make it an effort to meet with Him almost everyday. I'm confident you'll start your day right and also He will provide you sufficient strength, anointing and blessing as well through out the day. God Bless.

The year that was 2008 - Jude

Since joining 1a.m. on the 17th Feb 08 ( YES EXACT DATE.. )

My journey has been a most exciting one though its only a short amount of time. I remember being exposed to the different fields of work, like managing an entire academy, to overseeing the whole musical department as music director in training, things I'm not good at, but which 1a.m. had the confidence (or audacity) to entrust me with. But it is by God's grace the academy and music team is still surviving! (insert laughter here)

But really, journeying together with 1a.m. has really broaden my view towards God, from God only being my comfort and provider, to God being BIGGER THAN ALL MY PROBLEMS, and seeing him in a bigger worth. Being my 1st time away from home, often times I go to God for a "home security", which is good cos I i believe he wants us to go to him as often as we are able to.

But as God slowly reveals to me himself more and more, I felt God saying "MY PRESENCE IS BETTER THAN ANY HOME ON EARTH". So kinda like God became bigger than any castle mansion made. God has been so gracious even before I joined 1a.m. and I realized that often times I only acknowledge Him whenever He provides, intervenes in my problems, or when he delivers me from my grief.

Being with 1a.m. has open my eyes in worshipping Him, and honoring him EVEN WHEN HE SEEMS TO BE QUIET, or when things doesn't go MY WAY. God is always in control of everything regardless of different situations that we face. My heart has always been music, playing music, and anything to do with music, and when God gets involved in the music it just makes it even better. I've always wanted to play better, improve in my skills, learn everything possible, JUST so that I can equip myself. But...slowly God change me, as I journey with 1a.m. I now realized doing all the work, practicing 100 hours a day, trying to play faster than that speeding bullet, became secondary as MY HEART WAS MORE IMPORTANT ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE.

God changed me from WANTING TO BE ABLE TO PLAY EVERYTHING TO EQUIP MYSELF to WANTING TO IMPROVE MYSELF SO THAT I'M ABLE TO SERVE HIM BETTER.

This year has been awesome, 1 year flew by without me noticing the red light.

Throughout the year I met many a challenge, most of them made me feel extremely inadequate. I specially remember one of them where my playing styles completely differ from the current band members.. ( I grew up listening to classical, jazz and Prog Metal and music like Japanese pop...yes, worlds apart... ) Everyone was either...rock...or...not-classical-not-jazz-not-metal kinda thing... So a lot of times it was extremely hard for me to gel with them, to play skillfully up to an expectation, ( everyone thought highly of my musicality's apparently ) and being a musician it's hard to change instantly and suck in your pride. But I thank GOD for THE AWESOME journey He hooked me up in '08, for being such an AWESOME GOD, for BEING SO REAL, and walking me me thru all the moments where I felt I'm inadequate, cos that's where i feel him the most. Of course God is slowly changing me as well musically, at least now know jazz is not the band's thing :) ....

I look forward for '09 to come, cos I know God has in store for me MORE AWESOME THINGS that He wants me to experience.

It's been good being a guitarist for God, I regret nothing...

Philippines Tour Day 12 and 13

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Philippine Tour Day 3