Monday, December 22, 2008

The year that was 2008 - Jude

Since joining 1a.m. on the 17th Feb 08 ( YES EXACT DATE.. )

My journey has been a most exciting one though its only a short amount of time. I remember being exposed to the different fields of work, like managing an entire academy, to overseeing the whole musical department as music director in training, things I'm not good at, but which 1a.m. had the confidence (or audacity) to entrust me with. But it is by God's grace the academy and music team is still surviving! (insert laughter here)

But really, journeying together with 1a.m. has really broaden my view towards God, from God only being my comfort and provider, to God being BIGGER THAN ALL MY PROBLEMS, and seeing him in a bigger worth. Being my 1st time away from home, often times I go to God for a "home security", which is good cos I i believe he wants us to go to him as often as we are able to.

But as God slowly reveals to me himself more and more, I felt God saying "MY PRESENCE IS BETTER THAN ANY HOME ON EARTH". So kinda like God became bigger than any castle mansion made. God has been so gracious even before I joined 1a.m. and I realized that often times I only acknowledge Him whenever He provides, intervenes in my problems, or when he delivers me from my grief.

Being with 1a.m. has open my eyes in worshipping Him, and honoring him EVEN WHEN HE SEEMS TO BE QUIET, or when things doesn't go MY WAY. God is always in control of everything regardless of different situations that we face. My heart has always been music, playing music, and anything to do with music, and when God gets involved in the music it just makes it even better. I've always wanted to play better, improve in my skills, learn everything possible, JUST so that I can equip myself. But...slowly God change me, as I journey with 1a.m. I now realized doing all the work, practicing 100 hours a day, trying to play faster than that speeding bullet, became secondary as MY HEART WAS MORE IMPORTANT ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE.


This year has been awesome, 1 year flew by without me noticing the red light.

Throughout the year I met many a challenge, most of them made me feel extremely inadequate. I specially remember one of them where my playing styles completely differ from the current band members.. ( I grew up listening to classical, jazz and Prog Metal and music like Japanese pop...yes, worlds apart... ) Everyone was either...rock...or...not-classical-not-jazz-not-metal kinda thing... So a lot of times it was extremely hard for me to gel with them, to play skillfully up to an expectation, ( everyone thought highly of my musicality's apparently ) and being a musician it's hard to change instantly and suck in your pride. But I thank GOD for THE AWESOME journey He hooked me up in '08, for being such an AWESOME GOD, for BEING SO REAL, and walking me me thru all the moments where I felt I'm inadequate, cos that's where i feel him the most. Of course God is slowly changing me as well musically, at least now know jazz is not the band's thing :) ....

I look forward for '09 to come, cos I know God has in store for me MORE AWESOME THINGS that He wants me to experience.

It's been good being a guitarist for God, I regret nothing...

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