Thursday, January 22, 2009



Wake up screaming..sometimes that’s what I do..Well…not really like yell at the ceiling and jump up run into toilet to wash up, but that would be cool…just freak out my roommate once in a while.


Well…for drummer Cuzario to be exact…I did the guide tracks though…and...some other things…things…Do keep us in prayer…My turn comes when I come back from CNY in KK…

Which means I have to practice without my normal equipment at home…

Anyone wants to sponsor me a rig or two? (another guitar would be nice…)


Yesterday night I took the guys out (Cuz, Dan, Neil, and Kel) for a steamboat buffet dinner on me…since it’s better to give than to receive…we had the most…um…weird experience of eating in Yuan (yes the chicken wing place…it’s not all that..if you go there JUST for the chicken it’s ok…but the buffet stuff suck so much it can clean the house…) where people just QUEUE UP to get them wings…and in the end return disappointed because they only have ONE on their plate and about 6 thousand other wings on the floor because people just can’t…um…make them go to their plate.

And Daniel made spicy ice cream fudge!! Check it out!!

It’s so gruesome and awesome and endearing in a way we had to blog about it…

(I’m really not into this way of blogging…it’s just not my thing…)

Anyway…ingredients are:

Yam ice cream

Vanilla ice cream

Corn ice cream

Tom yam soup

Chicken breast meat

Chicken gizzard

Chicken heart

Fungus (black and white)


Some overcooked Veg



Shrimp Shell

Chilli with lime and some other condiments

1 extremely experimental Indian

1 Indian saliva

1 Filipino saliva

It’s intriguing yet disgusting at the same time so it was a bet on fire!

RM100 bucks to the guy who finishes it…

No one barely even looked at it..

And since Kel was there he decided to do some discipleship with us…as he usually does:

Came a time when he ask:” What do you think is your life message? “

You know…like…if you were on stage suddenly and a group of people wants to hear what made you who you are…what made you do things the way you do…what speaks most loudly in your life that you believe in it and you don’t have to prepare a full length sermon to tell of your message….

I felt my life message is kinda obvious that time…music has always been my thing…and I wanna use this God given talent and use it for his glory…

I want to be such an influential musician that I can grab people’s attention,

and then God will take over from there.

Then Kel ask an extremely simple question:

“Then what?”

Those are two words that changed the way I think…”Then what?”

Really there are so many possible answers…But only one will matter to God…

I thought and thought and thought for the next few mins…


I screamed in my heart…like I do waking up…nothing…

Nothing rang in my spirit…

Nothing sounded the bells in my head…

Nothing made the Jude inside respond…

Can that be it?

Play music and….and…what’s the next sentence?

GOD!!! HELP!!!!


Never in my life I felt so uncertain..

I need God more than ever now…

I need his directions even more clearly laid than ever…

I need his wisdom more than bread…

I need his grace more than the song meant…

I am weak…


Brittle as hair..

Momentary as vapour…

Small as insignificant….

Where was my confidence..

Where was my zest..

Where was my passion..

I went home…bamboozled as monkeys on branches…Went to bed asking God..

“What now God?’”

“And then WHAT God?”

“I need you…”

I’m probably the only one in the band that listens to weird music (when I say weird, I mean things that scream, have weird odd time signatures, 45 min length songs, saxophones bleating and nose blowing a tower full of cabbages in upstate downtown sunrise!), I was listening to the song ‘A Small Spark Vs. A Great Forest’ by Norma Jean..

And some of the lyrics that got my attention (besides being a cool song):

Rip this tongue out by the root.
Shake the walls of this pale grave.
A blaze, a blaze is set upon the hills.
An open grave from which a great forest will rise, the fire collapses.
The corpses I've made.
This should not be.
Oh, how we curse.
The tongue is a flame.
Let there be grace.
Fight fair.

I wanted to be like the small spark..igniting the WHOLE forest…letting the world know how awesome is my God..

Oh how we curse ourselves…I speak of things I know not of myself..LET THERE BE GRACE

In this season of Chinese New Year to come…I pray God will show more grace…and slowly reveal “WHATS NEXT”…

I want my life message to spark the great forest out there…But until then…I’m in need of him..more than ever…

What’s your life message?

“then what?”



Alf said...

Excellent post Jude! and please tell kel that I say that's an excellent 2nd question too

Dan Dan said...

haha...i cant believe that you blog about the experimental food!!! lol